Late last year, an editor at a popular magazine tapped me to help with an editorial package about infidelity. Over dinner discussions, in Facebook groups, and on podcasts and formal source-finding platforms, I discovered people with all sorts of experiences cheating and being cheated on. (My favorite was a couple who’d met in divorce court after their former spouses had an affair.)
Before I got around to conducting my second interview, the project — or at least my part in it — was killed. I was bummed, but I was also grateful that I hadn’t gotten deeper into reporting or writing, and that I was paid appropriately for what I’d done.
Still, I didn’t entirely move on. I funneled some of my new interest into a pitch for Monitor on Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association, instead. Here’s how the final article turned out.
Read on to see exactly what the initial idea and the follow-up pitch looked like. Check out the highlighted parts for more takeaways for freelancers looking to finesse their next idea.
Initial idea: The psychology of infidelity
Why do people cheat? Is “once a cheater, always a cheater” true? How does infidelity affect the people who’ve been cheated on? Which victims end up building stronger relationships, and which never fully trust a partner again? What constitutes emotional cheating, and what are its effects?
I’ll dig into the latest psychology research, including a study showing that spousal infidelity is linked to poorer long-term chronic health, and another paper that found that people with parents who cheated are more likely to cheat themselves.
Medaris: I know the Monitor is very focused on highlighting the latest psychology research on any given topic. So it’s important to show the editor that there are indeed fresh studies conducted by psychologists to get initial buy-in.
I’ll also include clinicians who specialize in infidelity. For instance: I recently came across a therapist who was cheated on in his first marriage, and went on to specialize in working with men in similar situations. His now-wife, also a therapist, exclusively treats the “other half” – women who cheat.
Medaris: The Monitor’s audience includes researchers, clinicians (including psychologists in other industries), and others, so it bolstered my pitch by showing that a range of the publication’s readership would be interested in this topic. When pitching trade magazines, it’s critical to show you understand some intricacies of their professional readership like that.
Why I landed on Monitor on Psychology
I was a staff writer and editor at the outlet over a decade ago, and have written regularly for it since becoming a freelancer in 2023. I know the editors are keen on any topic that can highlight the work of their psychologist member-readers, and everything I was learning about infidelity had clear mental-health components.
Plus, since I had a relationship with the editor, I knew she wouldn’t only read my email, but would also accept a pre-pitch — essentially the above paragraph to gauge interest before requesting a more formal pitch (or not). Finally, APA is one of my highest-paying clients and assigns features I enjoy that can run several thousand words.
So, while the story wouldn’t include the sorts of juicy personal anecdotes I’d previously collected, The Monitor was an obvious place for me to pivot to.
What happened next
The editor responded that she was interested in the idea, but she wasn’t totally sold on the “science of infidelity” angle, since it’s not exactly a mental health condition but rather a phenomenon that may overlap with many. She thought the topic might work better as one of the magazine’s “career” pieces, which are more service-oriented articles for psychologists looking to gain or strengthen their skills in a certain area. Considering this angle, the editor asked me to fill out a pitch template with more details.
Here’s that pitch:
The Pitch
Working title: How to work with people facing infidelity
Medaris: Check out AHCJ’s Freelance Market Guide for pitching the Monitor
Article type (choose one): Career
Medaris: Knowing a publication’s various sections and article types, as well as which ones use freelancers, is important! Some places almost entirely use freelancers for, say, first-person stories or service pieces, but rarely or never use them for features or news hits. Many publications plan certain themed issues that are worth knowing about too.
Do your research by reading the publication and any pitching guidance they have on their site or on AHCJ’s Freelance Market Guide.
Three key points (if known):
Medaris: Thinking through what you imagine your story’s three key points to be can be a helpful exercise even if you’re not given a structured template like this. In this case, I used these three points to answer: Why now? Why should psychologists/readers care? In what ways is this complicated or controversial, and therefore deserving of several pages of space?
- Public discourse around infidelity is on the rise (see one hit album, another highly publicized book, and who could forget the Coldplay concert?), though definitions range widely.
- Even psychologists who don’t offer couples therapy will likely see patients affected by infidelity in some way, whether a parent was a cheater, an ex betrayed them or they cheated on a partner themselves.
- The understanding of who cheats, why, and how psychologists can influence what happens next continues to evolve.
Difference from previous APA coverage (especially Monitor but also Speaking of Psychology, newsletters, etc.) on this topic: I couldn’t find anything about infidelity on the site, other than a landing page for a book about it.
Medaris: This is an important reminder to always search (using Google, not just a publication’s own search bar) for what it’s reported on in the past. And, if the place you’re pitching and/or its competitors have covered something similar, be sure to explain how your take will advance the conversation or come at it in a new light.
Nut graf:
Medaris: Drafting a potential nut graf is also a helpful exercise for you to drill down on what your overall piece is trying to say. It also makes your job easier once it comes time to write.
It’s hard to know whether infidelity is on the rise, but modern technologies make catching a partner’s indiscretions far easier than in years past. Confessional TikToks, Reddit threads, Facebook groups, memoirs, and pop albums make it seem more prevalent too.
As therapy also becomes more sought-after and normalized, psychologists with up-to-date expertise in helping people in all sorts of relationships make sense of infidelity are in demand.
From ethically non-monogamous couples and queer partners navigating betrayals to people in heterosexual marriages disagreeing over what constitutes a digital or even AI “affair,” here’s what psychologists who study and work with these populations want their colleagues to know about building out a specialty in this delicate area.
Three experts you plan to interview (leading authorities on the topic):
Medaris: Similarly, it’s useful to both the editor and your future self to identify a few people you’d like to interview and a few recent studies, if relevant, you plan to cite.
- Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman
- Dr. Matthew Zakreski, PsyD, told me he does “a lot of therapy with neurodivergent people and the LGBTQ+ community, and has worked with many different iterations of infidelity and reactions to it.” He has great anecdotes to share.
- Galena Rhoades, PhD, Director of the Institute for Relationship Science at Denver University and couples therapist in private practice.
Three studies (psychological science) that illustrate the topic:
- In 2025, psychologists John and Julie Gottman published the first randomized controlled trial on treating affairs, and found that their proprietary method improves trust, conflict management, relational satisfaction and quality of sex more than “treatment as usual.”
- Some 2024 work also shows that spousal infidelity is linked to poorer long-term chronic health.
- Among her recent qualitative research exploring infidelity, Simone Schneider published this in 2025: ‘Because like if you feel guilty, then it’s usually a sign’: On the role of emotions in conceptualizing infidelity.
How the story turned out
Predictably, the final article was not as salacious as the stories I’d come across when I started reporting the original story about cheating and betrayal. (And when I tried to include one psychologist’s personal story about infidelity in the piece, she requested I remove it.) As intended, it was a research-heavy guide on how cheating affects people and what psychologists can do to help them recover — whether that means maintaining a relationship, breaking up or healing if a breakup has already occurred.
One challenge was figuring out the scope. I mostly only addressed how cheating affects victims and couples who want to repair their relationships. Getting into the psychology of someone who cheats themselves, and what they might explore in therapy, turned out to be a topic for another day (or article).
I still found the story interesting to report — particularly how the internet, social media and AI are complicating the many definitions of cheating, as well as the finding that infidelity doesn’t always reflect a relationship deficit. I’m content with the final product.
Final takeaway for freelancers
Trade publications are often excellent outlets for freelancers to write for because they may have more funding and a greater need for contributors. They’re also well worth considering when you’re already deep into a topic and want to cover it for multiple places (or rework something that’s been killed). Since a trade probably doesn’t view general-circulation magazines as competitors, and vice versa, you might be able to get more bang for your reporting buck without facing a conflict of interest.
One downside to trade publications, though, can be how many cooks there are in the kitchen. Rather than working with one or two editors, stories are often run up the corporate chain so that all stakeholders in an organization’s publication are satisfied. They also tend to be more academic in tone. Both realities can mean many rounds of edits and fewer opportunities to let your voice shine. I’ve learned to manage my emotional investment in trade stories, and how protective I am over the language, accordingly.
